I need a little more time with you

Relearning how to navigate the spaces between.

I didn’t realize the true tenacity with which I’d come to guard my independence in this year and a half alone; I didn’t realize how loneliness crept in and took paralyzing root.

It’s been a long time since I’ve let anyone see this gap of need and want in my heart, let anyone reach for my hand and loop tentative fingers gently around mine.

It’s been an even longer time since I’ve wanted anyone this close.

In the dark, leaning over, I whispered, ‘It’s good to want someone near me.’ You didn’t understand, thought you meant nothing. I drown in those same fears — it’s not me, just that I’m someone, anyone at all.

I’m still looking for the words to say you were the only one I would have ever let in, and I didn’t even mean to want that.

LMT – Boots

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