I am yours now

Today I woke up and saw, for the first time, the world we’ve started knitting together.

It’s been here from the very beginning, since late-night texts with nothing held back, since your unabashed crush and my less-believable-all-the-time casual dismissal of it. From the first moment we touched, shared whiskey on the beach, held hands in the backseat. From the only first kiss I’ve ever leaned into without a second thought.

1500 miles apart, when we talk about a life together, it’s here, now. You probably already knew. Like always, you’re half a mile ahead, looking over your shoulder and smiling knowingly.

Our world is so many things I already recognized — everything around us spinning into a gently blurred bokeh as I lose track of anything but your smile and eyes, knowing your hand is always open and waiting for mine as we begin walking, my feet tucked under you whether we’re cuddled on the couch or tangled in bed.

It’s the rules we set and the promises we made without needing to define much at all — not going to sleep angry (even when you have to chase me patiently across the bed to coax my stubborn pout), always knowing exactly when the next visit will occur before the current one ends, setting money aside so I can come back to my family at a moment’s notice if needed.

There is so much to learn still. We will struggle. We will fall in and out of love. We’ll disagree, think only ourselves right, ignore or misread the obvious. Learning to live with someone new is a challenge, always. But knowing we’ve already begun building a life, knowing that life is built on so much good intention and gentleness and kindness and patience, makes every other part — the moving and the sharing a space and merging our things and our privacy and our solitude — seem suddenly manageable.

Islands – The xx

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